Boogeyman
by Kaikai PANTS
Summary: Some may call it stalking· · ·SHE calls it LOVE. cloud x yuffie― CLOUFFIE oneshot. for the clouffolution


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**B O O G E Y M A N  
**by Kaikai PANTS

Some call it stalking…_she_ calls it LOVE.

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- clouffie oneshot: CLOUDxYUFFIE -

Happy New Year Everyone! 2008 YAYY!

Dedicated to three lovely friends -in no particular order- thank you for your awesome clouffies (from a while ago).  
**» **Chiisarin , long live the CLOUFFOLUTION!! RAWR:3  
& The DayDreaming ,the puntastical genius  
**&** Tsuby happy birthday for the 4 Dec (last year-yahh, im a little slow)

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_Ba da bum  
__Ba da bum_

Wish that mommy had left your Mickey Mouse night light on after she kissed you goodnight?

Welcome to the struggling life of a little boy in Radiant Garden. Radiant Garden, the restored little city where he resided. Go past the multicoloured leaves, into a pretty little house that looked like some mad-cake decorator had assaulted them with frills of pink and gold cream. Climb up the 20 flight of stairs (because a certain raven-haired girl had bothered to count) into the first room on to the left. No one could miss it. It had a massive chocobo picture hung the door.

Inside this particular room, was a little boy. A little blonde boy cradling in his bed, looking like he was about to piss his pants.

_Oh_, forget the great prodigy key-bearer Sora and his tug-o-war relationship between Kairi and Riku, the main action happened right now to the one and only Cloud Strife.

He was an twelve-year-old boy (and damn proud of the number of candles on his birthday cake) with blonde hair, hair that protruded randomly out in a physics-law defying way and eyes so blue yet it glowed in the dark (the best kind of guy to take on camp), eyes that were currently a melange of anxiety, fear and the 'boogeys.'

He was paranoid. Even walking on the streets, he got the eerie feeling that someone was following him. He would go to the store and he'd sense a presence behind the bushes, or the lamppost or above him. Everywhere. It was everywhere!!!

_AHHHH!!!_

He was afraid of the dark- Achluophobia was the technical term apparently (not that a kid his age would be aware of that, unless he liked to google a lot. But most 'developing' boys his age probably 'researched' other more _fascinating_ -and 'appealing'- things).

Anyways returning to the matter, this little boy with blonde spiky hair was perhaps not _exactly_ scared of the dark- but rather the things that go '_ba da bum_' in the dark. His wardrobe was rattling and he was pretty sure wardrobes weren't alive. Making a cursory glance around his room, Cloud shivered under his blanket.

He knew about the boogeyman, (which little child didn't hear about his gruesome stories). The Boogeyman was a fat ghostly phantom with black holes for eyes, orbs so menacingly cold that one gaze was like a lacuna of life, the darkness vacuuming your soul. He really hated Leon for telling him about 'Ooogey Boogey' and how he liked to devour children, and eat their toes for dinner during the middle of the night.

Hiding himself underneath his chocobo patterned blanket thinking that a thin piece of material would really be an effective shield against the talons of the boogeyman. There it was. He could see a silhouette of a non-human monstrous form. Heart pumping, he shut his eyes tight, wanting to sob. Holding his moogle plushie firmly, as beads of sweat trickled down his neck, he prayed that the boogeyman couldn't see him, and not think that the small lump underneath the blanket. But he knew better. His mako-enhanced eyes were pretty much like having a sign: eat-me-here!

"OOMPH UGH RAHH!!!"

He screamed, tears welling in his adorable sapphire eyes as he gazed into the nefarious glare of the dark minister of doom. "DON'T EAT ME BOOGEYMAN!!!" He squealed.

Cowering, the little Cloud tightened his grip upon his moogle plushie, and luckily the moogle was already an inanimate object. If not it would be dead from suffocation.

"RAWR!! Bwuahahahaha! " The 'boogeyman' cackled, as the blonde boy jumped off his bed to run away from the savage beast and headed for the lights.

Hastily, the little Cloud desperately dived for the light switch, as he flipped it on and revealed the scene in front of him.

Standing next to this Boogeyman, Cloud realised that he was well- _taller _by a whole head than the monster. In fact his previous fear died away as a scowl formed on his face.

The Boogeyman's voice was rather girly despite its attempt to sound mean and scary and heck, the Boogeyman looked like some midget wearing a table cloth.

"Yuffiiiiie!" The blonde boy stammered with embarrassment, cheeks stained with red.

"Yeah what? I meant- _hu hu hu_. I'm not the wondrous Great Ninja Yuffie, you foo'. I am the Boogeyman. Feaaaar me!"

Cloud rolled his eyes, approaching the 'boogeyman' as he removed the white sheet with one sweep, revealing the eight-year-old ninja hidden inside. Blinking, Yuffie became aware that she was just found out by her blue-eyed friend, as she began laughing nervously.

"POOF! The Great Ninja Yuffie has appeared!" Yes, it was the 4 foot tall PRINCESS, and she definitely does not need any crown to distinguish herself of her regal status. Just her rambunctious voice would do- quite literally. One wail from this girl could be heard from all the way in the god-reigning mountains of Olympus.

Though be aware, this eight-year-old was not like any other little eight -year-old girl. Most eight -year-old girls played play-doctor, wore pink ribboned dresses and fiddled with Barbie dolls.

Yuffie on the other hand, played with dangerous knives, was clad in a green top, rather provocative shorts that are much to short for a girl her age, boots, a long scarf and an oversize shuriken which was twice her size; and she fiddled with an assortment of volatile materia. Definitely an anomaly to the greatest degree of the typical eight -year-old girl.

A twitch.

A weak grin.

"Yuffie, I know YOU were the one pretending to be the stupid Boogeyman!" Cloud chided, crossing his arms in irritation.

"No, it wasn't me. I used Merlin's magic and my leet ninja skills and appeared here from thin air," she stuck out her tongue.

"Then what are you doing with this white sheet?" He asked smugly, feigning maturity and strength. She can see past his attempt at being mighty and unafraid, because he is afraid. Yet he doesn't tell anybody and he bottles it inside his red cape.

"It's my uber fly cape cos every superhero needs a cool cape," the little ninja replied, referring to Cloud's red cape.

"Liar liar! Pants on fire!"

"Nu-uhhh."

"The boogeyman is supposed to be gi-NOORmous. How come the _supposed_ 'boogeyman' in my room was a midget."

"HEY! I'm no midget," the half ninja- half boogeyman retorted unconsciously.

"Seeee- you admit it," he triumphantly said, satisfaction emanating from his smirk.

"No faaair!" She wailed, stomping her feet on the ground like a wild hippopotamus before she huffed in abnegation. "How'd you know it was me though?"

He sighed and then pointed to the words 'Property of Yuffie Kisaragi- steal it and my minions of doom will hunt you down' scribbled down in rainbow Crayola ink imprinted on the edge of the white sheet. Her lips formed an 'o' shape, before she burst into fits of nervous giggles.

"Eeep! Sorry Cloudy, I didn't mean to pretend to be the boogeyman. I just got stuck in your closet," Yuffie pouted, grey eyes big and watery. It was true. On one of her little overly-imaginative adventures (aka. stalking Cloud day #30), she ended up following him to his house and once he was in the bathroom she sought out for his room to browse through his things. Then all of a sudden, she heard his footsteps climb up the staircase!

Desperately, she hid herself in his closet and got stuck. When she thought Cloud was asleep, she made an attempt to escape unnoticed as she adamantly tried to free herself.

Through much wriggling, her white cape ended up on her head and after much banging on the closet door, the Great Ninja had made her way out of his closet. She heard Cloud scream 'boogeyman' and the idea stimulated in her head.

Thinking it would be fun and an idea for Cloud not to ask what she was doing in the closet in the first place, Yuffie being the brilliant 8-year-old genius she was, played along with the whole 'boogeyman' theory.

"Yuffie… what were you doing in my closet anyway?" He raised his brow, a questioning look planted on his face.

"Er…" Yuffie scratched her head, as her feet drew circles in the ground. "I-I was _um…_was trying to find your _titty_ girl mags."

"My _what_?"

"The ones that Uncle Cid oogles over. Y'know…with the girls and their booobies-"

"You were trying to find m-m-m-my porn stash?" He flustered. This girl was only eight, but she her mind was twisted…_beyond _twisted.

"Mmhmm…and I was so NOT spying on you _at_ all, nor was I trying to hide from you." She nodded, eyes innocent as ever.

"Were you spying on me?"

"Noooo…" She diverted her eyes up at the ceiling '_inconspicuously'_. "Honestly, why would I spy on you? You're the most boring person in the world. All you do is go training in the morning underneath the oak tree at ee-xact-ly the same time and place, every single mooglin' day! Then you-"

"…"

"Oops."

"Have you been following me EVERYDAY?!" Yuffie flailed her hands in front of her face, scared of the tone that Cloud had used. It was as if, Yuffie was some…_stalker _or something! She's only eight years old- she didn't even really know what a stalker was...yet.

"Not _everyday_…" On Sundays she would do her daily raid of materia, so she was _technically _telling the truth (just no the _whole_ truth). She made a light squeak in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"You're stalking me?" Cloud asked in disbelief. Honestly, who wouldn't stalk Cloud? Yuffie had hit a certain age where girls fantasized about getting married with Prince Charming. Sora, Riku and Roxas were much too young for Yuffie and Squall was much too old for her. And so came along _Prince_ Cloud.

Besides, it wasn't as if Yuffie _liked _Cloud. She just liked to stalk him…a bit (_a whole damn lot)_.

When he went to the store to buy the latest sea-salt flavoured ice cream, she would follow him, peeking out from behind the corner with the smile of a Cheshire cat. Okay…she might be a _tad _obsessed, but who could blame her?

She's only eight and he's twelve. She likes stalking him and he believes in the Boogeyman. Kids are supposed to act a little crazy.

"Stalking you? Nooo…I merely happen to be going the same way _indiscreetly_- I'm surprised you haven't noticed. I guess my stealthy ninja skills OWN your big fat stick," she stuck out her tongue again.

"It's a_ buster sword_ and its way scarier than your little star-things."

"My daddy says its called a shu-reee-ken and its way scarier. So nyehh" She beamed, trying her best to look all mighty.

"I'm not scared of anything." He arrogantly snapped.

"Nya ha ha ha, Cloud's scared of the Boogeymaaaan!" Yuffie chanted, skipping around, like a butterfly.

"There's no such thing as the boogeym-"

"Cloud's scared of the Boogeymaaaan."

"I am not!"

"Who's afraid of the Boo-gey-man? The boo-gey-man? Who's afraid of the Boo-gey-man? Clooooud is!" She sang, merrily skipping as the boy watching burned with fury.

"Stop it!"

"Fine, I will. Only on ONE condition," Yuffie smirked, waving her index finger up like a pendulum.

"Fine, sheesh. What is it?" Cloud sighed in defeat. Getting beaten by a eight-old GIRL. Pride destroying much? No wonder he ended up a brooding emo in the future.

"I want ALL your materia!" She exclaimed, her eyes fervidly gleaming.

"No way."

"Fine, if you don't give me your materia you have to kiss me…" Yuffie smiled. "…ON THE LIPS!" _Gasp! _

The blonde boy was flabbergasted. He had never kissed a girl in his life. Though there were many times when a girl called Tifa tried to kiss him. "What?!"

"Give up your materia to a worthy foundation of yours truly Yuffie K, or get..._Dum di dum_…COOTIES!!" She grinned mischievously."Your choice Spikes."

"…"

"Well I'm waiting for my materia," the raven-haired materia-hunter grinned audaciously. She discovered the beguiling ways of black mail at such a young age. What a cunning woman she would (_and did_) make in the future.

Hesitating at first, the twelve-year-old Cloud dug his pockets, checking the different coloured mystical balls –otherwise known as materia or the treasure of Yuffie's heart. "Um…you promise you won't tell anyone Yuffie?"

"Mmhmm…I pinky promise," The black-haired girl nodded lightly, linking pinkies with 12-year-old Cloud's.

He stopped abruptly, as the oh-so-naïve (yes, even Yuffie could be oblivious when she was young) Yuffie remained confused as she stared up at his big blue eyes, wandering how long would it take for him to give her his materia.

Her grey orbs wide open, eyelashes fluttered up as she felt his lips press lightly against hers. A streak of scarlet spread across her face like a fever, as her eight-year-old head grew dizzy.

He then moved back immediately, and averted her gaze; cheeks heated a light salmon pink. Cloud shifted uncomfortably, scratching his head. _Did he do it right?_ He was only 12. She was 8. Judging by the awe lingering behind her eyes, a wave of reassurance swept over him.

"Umm…I-I…um…" The young Yuffie felt obliged to say something. She always said something- in fact, she needed to say _something _to lessen the awkward tension. "Ewww COOTIES!" The tomato-coloured girl screamed, making her dashing exit while trying to hide her burning embarrassment.

The blonde boy however, just stood there blinking and staring at the spot where that frivolous girl had once stood. Giving his first kiss wasn't bad. He had loads of expensive and powerful materia that would be useful in the future. Oh, he made the right decision.

He smiled to himself, thinking he would (_and did_) make a good leader in the future. After all, he thought through all the possibilities rationally and didn't make decisions spontaneously (like a certain rambunctious ninja brat did).

Nodding in satisfaction, his fingers dug into his pockets languidly, scrummaging around his PJs, until he realised a little something was missing a little too late…

"YUFFFIE! Gimme back my MATERIA!"

**fin.**

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**A/N**: I was supposed to post this months ago…but yeah, I fail lol. Thus, it's a random clouffie oneshot to celebrate the beginning of the new year & THE CLOUFFOLUTION! RAWRRR  
I made them little kiddies , cos I've never written a proper mini cloud & yuffie before.

If you have any better suggestions for the title, please tell me. I'm uncomfortable with it for some weird reason.

Hope you like it! Please review & give me your thoughts.

x. kaikai / caroline / kaidorei

standard disclaimer applies.


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